Derval O'Rourke turns 40 today: Her thoughts on life, motherhood and her career
Derval O'Rourke celebrates her 40th birthday. Photo Joleen Cronin
A lot can change in a decade: phones get thinner, the
climate gets warmer, a pandemic might hit. For three-time Olympian Derval O’Rourke, the past 10 years have not only brought a major career shift but also a completely new, all-encompassing, role that had barely crossed her mind at 30: motherhood.
“When I turned 30 I was only thinking about the London
Olympics. I wasn’t thinking about what I was going to do next career-wise. I wasn’t married. I didn’t have kids. The shift in my life in the past 10 years just seems
remarkable in a lot of ways,” she says over the phone from her home in Cork. I never thought about how many kids I’d have or if I’d even have kids. I always knew I wanted to but I honestly never thought about it until I had my first child. That’s been the major change, becoming a parent and always trying to figure out ways to make the part of me that just wants to totally be a parent and the independent side of my personality co-exist.
“30-year-old me would never have understood that life change. I would never have thought that I’d have two kids and would always
be trying to negotiate in my head about being both people — the mom and the person that is working.”
Derval married her husband, fellow Irish Olympian, Peter O’Leary, a year after they competed in the 2012 Olympics — Peter in sailing and Derval in the 100m hurdles. They welcomed their daughter Dafne in 2015 and son Archie two years ago.
When reminiscing on her 40 years, Derval often goes back to age 30. It was a time when the Cork powerhouse, born in Co Waterford, was on top of the world. She had four European medals under her belt, a world championship title, and was training to represent Ireland in her third Olympic games. And when asked if 10-year-old Derval would ever have imagined such accolades, 40-year-old Derval takes a second.
“Never. I never set out as a kid to do anything like this. I wasn’t a kid who said: ‘I’m going to go to the Olympic Games’. I just loved to run and I loved competing. It was very simple, I ran because it was fun,” she says.
“Even when I was 20 I didn’t imagine that I would have the athletics career that I had. I really wanted to be an Olympian but I didn’t really imagine that I was going to win any medals at any major championship. I never thought about it. I always think about things in terms of small steps and how to get from here to there. Young me would think all the stuff I did was mad.”
While “young” Derval would have marvelled at her future career, present-day Derval marvels at a lot more in life than her abilities on a track. In fact, before this month she hadn’t been on one in a long time. I suspect that if I had called her for this interview 10 years ago, we would be focused on times and pressure, and not laughing about how her toddler won’t leave her alone to shower.
“I went to the track the other day to help a kid out with their sprinting and realised I hadn’t been in ages, whereas for 20 years I was on it every single day. A decade in my life has just made such a significant difference,” she says.
“When I was 30 I would have felt like I had a lot of weight on my shoulders and that was such a key part of what made me who I was. I had to perform, I had to bring home medals, I had to break Irish records, and if I wasn’t doing that then who was I?
“Whereas now I don’t feel like that at all. The things that matter to me are so different.
“I think kids are a real leveller. They definitely took me out of that bubble. When I was younger, I wouldn’t have thought that being happy and content and feeling supported by good people would have been a massive aim but now that’s living the dream for me.”
Of course, Derval has also been up to a lot career-wise since retiring from athletics seven years ago. She has created a massive online health community through her website Derval.ie.
She’s a bestselling cookbook author and a commentary stalwart on television. She’s also coached, appeared on RTÉ’s Ireland’s Fittest Family, and has helped countless people on their own fitness journeys. If 30-year-old Derval was on top of the world, 40-year-old Derval must be far above the clouds.
“I think the biggest challenge I’ve faced in life was trying to negotiate leaving a career so few people get to do. Having to leave the world of athletics and build a completely new life and career. I was living in Dublin, travelling constantly, and within the space of two weeks I had moved back to Cork and had no job,” she says.
“It was in many ways really challenging but it was also full of opportunities. I can probably appreciate that more now turning 40. It’s only in the past year that I know what I want to do for work and who I want to be at work. I couldn’t have said that four years ago.”
The pandemic has played a large part in the realisation. “I retired from athletics when I was 33 and I didn’t really process it. I moved on and wrote my first cookbook. I started thinking about trying to set up the website. I kind of went into hyperdrive, while having kids. “Life was a rollercoaster 10 years ago. I would jump on a plane to go to a race in Japan and then I would fly to America and I’d be back in Ireland for three weeks. I always travelled. 50 flights a year until I retired from tracks and then I travelled for commentary a bit after. Then the pandemic hit and it just grounded me for the first time since I was 13. It’s given me space to think about what I want and don’t want.”
Derval has also used the time to reflect on other aspects of her life. “The things that make me happy now are so distinctly different to the things that made me happy 10 years ago. I was living in a completely different world. As a 30-year-old, I think I was much more emotional and reactionary and as a 40-year-old, I’m much more measured,” she says.
“I think that was a reflection of the career I had. My career was very public in terms of performing. It’s public now in some ways but when I do live workouts on the site it’s more like being on with loads of my friends. I think I was in a more isolated bubble when I was training for the Olympics but as a 40-year-old it feels like my work is a lot more personable and supportive. Your tribe kind of changes too, which is something I never would have predicted coming into 40. For example, when I had Dafne I went to a public health clinic and randomly went for coffee with a group of women who had babies at the same time and I’m still friends with them six years later. When I was trying to perform as a runner I had a very tight-knit team of people whose mindset was very similar to mine. I’m still close to those people and my coach is my child’s godmother, but I don’t see them every day.”
While reveling in the current stage of her career, Derval also feels like she’s reached a new stage in her mindset toward fitness and health.
“I feel like I’m at a stage of having a massive appreciation and value for feeling well. I used to take care of myself to perform whereas now I take care of myself to feel well, which are two completely different things,” she says. “I think because I’ve had two babies as well I have a real appreciation for my body that I didn’t have when I was younger. I was always pushing. I wasn’t kind enough to my body. I’d get injured and keep going whereas now if I get a little niggle I’ll immediately back off and take care of myself.”
While she still laces up her running shoes once in a blue moon, Derval’s preferred methods of movement now are bodyweight exercises, circuits, and yoga, which she does with her husband after they put the kids to bed.
“I think women find it really hard to prioritise themselves, particularly around this age. It’s so much easier to not mind yourself and mind everyone else instead. It’s easier to do the school lunches, the drops, the collections, organise everybody else’s activities and worry about everyone else than it is to take care of yourself,” she says. “If there is anything I’ve learnt in the past year it’s the benefit of carving out 30 minutes a day. Whether it’s moving, cooking something nourishing, or just sitting in the quiet. I’m always fighting for that time in my own head. There is always something to do for someone else but I have to think to myself that if I don’t do something for myself, I’m not really good for everybody else.”
Going into the next decade of her life, Derval sees herself spending more time in Cork and less time travelling. Her priority list has changed in the last few years, and she couldn’t be happier about it.
“The next decade will look so different from the last. I’ve two kids, I’m happy with two kids, I’m pretty much done. So now I’m really thinking about what kind of mum I want to be to them,” she says.
“The big thing I’ve learnt in the pandemic is what my husband always says: we need to mind our four walls. We have these four walls and the four of us. We just need to take care of our four walls and do our best with that. I was slightly in danger of staying too busy and too focused because that’s my personality. The past year has slowed me down massively and I won’t go back to the same place.”
Besides filming Ireland’s Fittest Family this summer and working on coverage for the Tokyo Olympics, her biggest focus will be Derval.ie and the new online health, equipment, and activewear shop the team has recently launched on the site.
“I’ve loved every second of the site. The online community has just given me such joy,” she says. Her biggest achievement of the past 40 years, however, is not the site, or the medals, or the titles, but those all-important four walls.
“When I look back at any of the running stuff I think: ‘Wow, I can’t believe I did that’. But it never landed the way the kids have landed with me on that really deep level. It was absolutely wild to go and be able to win medals but it was very fleeting. The kids are a forever thing. Having kids who are happy and healthy feels like a great achievement,” she says.
Would 2011 Derval approve?
“I think if I described this life to myself 10 years ago, 30-year-old me would think it was really random, but she would also be pretty happy about it.”
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