We're out of sync in the bedroom

"Delayed ejaculation is the least well understood of all male sexual dysfunctions, because it can be caused by so many different things"

Picture: iStock 

My boyfriend takes a long time to climax, which means I usually get there before him. Once I've had an orgasm I don't really feel like having sex any more, I just want the postcoital hug. He says that he doesn't mind but I feel really guilty.

Most men orgasm within four to ten minutes once they begin active thrusting during intercourse, but between 1 and 4% of men never get there, or take so long to achieve orgasm that their partner has already put the kettle on by the time they do. Delayed ejaculation (DE) doesn't necessarily require a diagnosis. After all, the concept of sexual duration is entirely subjective. If, for example, a man's partner enjoys lengthy episodes of penetrative sex, his DE can be an absolute boon. On the other hand, for a woman who is prone to thrush or cystitis, endless thrusting can be a pain in every sense of the word.