Suzi Godson: Nine questions about sex men always ask me 

Our sex columnist gives her answers to the common issues raised by men in midlife

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Can we really relearn lust after 20 years of marriage? We're just not as attracted to one another as we were.

Sexual desire may decline with age, but what is more important is the length of time you have been in your relationship. Habituation is the enemy of arousal. Sometimes sexual desire rekindles by itself, often in response to big life changes such as pregnancy or bereavement, key events such as changing jobs or moving to a new town, or more commonly the threat of losing the person with whom you have spent 20 years building a life. It is not unusual for divorcing couples who haven't had sex for years to suddenly experience overwhelming feelings of sexual desire for each other.