The Den is back: Why we could all do with a hug from Zig and Zag  

Pat Fitzpatrick meets Zig, Zag and Dustin The Turkey ahead of the return of The Den this weekend

The Den crew: Zig and Zag, Ray D'Arcy and Dustin, all set for Sunday fun on RTÉ One.
 

Zig and Zag had a surprise for me at the end of our 20-minute Zoom call. It had been a giggly, knockabout chat looking forward to the return of The Den to RTÉ, with Dustin there for a while until he ran into trouble with Sharon Ní Bheoláin’s phone (more on that later). I wished them well with the new series and then came the surprise — they told me they loved me.

It reminded me why people of all ages loved The Den, when it started out life as Dempsey’s Den in 1987. It was because everyone was so nice. Not nice in the old school way, where children’s TV presenters acted as if they were talking to their cat. The Den was proper, messy nice, where people tease and cajole each other and say things they shouldn’t say. It comes from the same place as The Snapper and Derry Girls — the programme was just like being at home with your family.

That’s why a new series, starting this Sunday on RTÉ One, is right on time. A lot of us are spending time at home with our family right now.  We need a show to distract us from each other for an hour, something fun and light and messy that will give us all a hug. To be honest, most of us could do with a hug from Zig and Zag right now.

Here is the other thing we need. The old Ray D’Arcy back. If you haven’t seen The Den reunion they did for RTÉ’s Comic Relief during the summer, take a look at it on YouTube. The three puppets — Zig, Zag, and Dustin — are the same as they’ve always been. Ray D’Arcy isn’t. Gone is the tired Ray of recent years. The Ray on Comic Relief looked younger, the colour back in his face.

Yes, there also will be tonnes of deja vu on The Den, but it will be the good stuff.

“The set is going to be like a Den-specific set, it looks a bit retro, but it's really brand new”, he tells me.  “There will be lots of singing — I like to keep my hand in with my rapping, so we're going to be doing a birthday roller and it's going to be rapped every week, so if it's your birthday in the next few months, send in your name. And we'll be having quizzes and it will be interactive with people at home because it's live and we'll be zooming people, we'll be doing TikTok dances.

“'We're all socially distanced, Dustin has some kind of deal about perspex, he owns all the perspex in Ireland, so he's the guy who does all that, he's going to make me a perspex box that I have to get into, it has a lid and everything.” 

I point out their distant relationship to Podge and Rodge and ask is there any chance my kids might learn a few curse words if they watch this re-incarnation of The Den. "It's on at 6.30 on a Sunday, so we have to best-behaved, but they might learn a few new words”, Zag tells me, almost reassuringly.

Did they have any conditions when RTÉ approached them about a return? “The first thing we said is, we'll do it if Ian Dempsey is doing it”, replies Dustin. “And they said no, and we said OK, now you have to pay us. I’m dreading having to work with those Brits, Zig and Zag and yer man Ray D’Arcy, what an insufferable bore.” (He still hasn’t forgiven Zig and Zag for leaving him behind when they got a gig on Channel 4.)

 “And we only agreed to do it, if we can do it live”, says Zig. “If we pre-record stuff they'd make us do it again and again and again and that just knocks the funny out of it.” 

That mix of naughty Dustin and nice-boy Zig brought me right back. Like a lot of people who were supposed to be old enough to know better, 20 year-old-me used to rush home from college to catch early episodes of what was thenDempsey's Den. I’d never have admitted it then, but 20 is a kind of bridge age when there is still enough childish left in your brain to laugh at two puppets being rude to a grown-up on RTÉ. And then, of course, there was Dustin.

He had dropped out of the Zoom call (phone problems) and rang me back afterwards to answer some questions. It’s a weird world when Dustin the Turkey rings to tell you about Marty Morrissey, the bang off Mary Robinson, and the fact that Claire Byrne is a better kisser than his girlfriend, Sharon Ní Bheoláin.

But it was a familiar world as well. My daughter was with me as I watched back the Comic Relief clip on YouTube. She got all the jokes, even when Dustin told Niall Horan he didn’t realise that people in Mullingar had teeth. I’m looking forward to sitting down with my family on Sunday and heading back into The Den. Because we could all do with a bit of love from Ray and Dustin and Zig and Zag.

The Den returns on RTÉ One, Sunday, November 8,  at 6.30 pm

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