Learning Points: How do I stop my kids spending too much time playing video games?

Richard Hogan answers a reader's question about managing gaming and boundaries

Two boys playing online games

I read your article last week about children’s gaming habits and it really hit home as my 10-year-old twin boys are on their devices way too much. They game every night and, as you say, they scream and roar when playing. Their younger sister is sometimes frightened by what she hears. My husband and myself fight about it and it causes a lot of tension, he brought the games into the house and now they are taking over. Even their teacher has commented to me that they seem more distracted than ever. I really don’t know what to do. I know it's not a bit of harmless fun like my husband thinks but I’m the only one trying to stop them from gaming in the house and they can become quite aggressive towards me when I tell them they have to stop and go to sleep. I dread the weekends because they game all day and all night. The bad language, aggression, and lack of outside activities are really worrying. I really need some help.

The first thing you have to remember is that a family that operates under an inverted hierarchy is never going to be peaceful. There will always be conflict. Your children should never be allowed to dictate the rules of the house. That is not to say you become a dictator or the tsar of your family unit but rather an authoritative parent whose voice is heard and whose rules are fair, clear and obeyed. This is the first step in getting control of your children’s gaming habit.