'The Traitors' episode six: Anyone speaking in third person deserves a roulette table shoved up their arse

"I survived and thrived in the shark tank." Calm down, Rainman. For all we know, you were serving drinks to little old ladies and sweeping out the casino coat rooms.

'Enter Siobhán McSweeney, the true star, in a headband with a giant playing card on it. You’ll always be my queen of hearts, Siobhan. I think you’re ace.' File picture

Breakfast at the castle in Traitors Ireland on RTÉ One has become less about the cornflakes and more about counting chairs.

This week, Wilkin and Ben are first in, analysing the numbers like two accountants after three espressos. “Recruitment, not murder,” they rightly deduce. Kelley, meanwhile, can’t wait to meet freshly-banished Eamon again after the show. “I hope he’s in the Garda uniform,” she sighs dreamily. Yeah, probably in Limerick, placing a ticket on Paudie’s car.