Tom Dunne: Be in no doubt, Grammy World is a very odd place
Fontaines DC are nominated for two awards at this year's Grammys. Picture: David Parry/PA
The rise of Fontaines DC appears unstoppable. Their two Grammy nominations but the latest icing on an already heavily iced cake. But even if they win I would advise against lingering backstage. The Grammys are weird. Don’t dally there, lads, it’s dangerous.
But what of the Fontaines themselves? Between now and Christmas they have 35 shows. In 2025 they are booked until August. The Grammy award ceremony at the Cryto.com Arena in Los Angeles on February 2, will come during a rare break. Three weeks later in Osaka, Japan, it all begins again.
After that it's Australia, Mexico, New Zealand, in that order, before another huge US tour in April and then Europe for the entire summer. I can only imagine their air miles.
They are nominated for Best Rock Album (up against The Rolling Stones, amongst others), and in the Best Alternative Music Performance category. They will rub shoulders with the best of the best. But be in no doubt, Grammy World is a very odd place.
Best Alternative Music Performance is a relatively new category. It was invented in 2023 when the Grammy committee couldn’t find a way to give Wet Leg their due. 'Chaise Longue' was a humdinger. The Grammys needed that kudos. An extra category was added.
It brought to 98 the number of categories at the Grammy Awards. If I wanted to give you some flavour of what they all are I would need to employ extra staff. ChatGPT, if asked to summarise the categories, would shut down. They are unknowable, too vast to countenance.
They work on two principles. The first is to round up all the most famous, celebrity-heavy artists in the world and get them in a venue together. The second is to then ensure, that like , there is a Grammy for everyone in the audience.
After that, all bets are off. Beyonce, leading the charge with 11 nominations this year, is the one to beat. Incredibly, her album, , is nominated in the country, pop and Americana categories. This seems like a contradiction in terms. How can it be all three things?
It feels equivalent to a John Banville novel being nominated in the modern fiction, true crime and travel writing categories. It just doesn’t stack up. I know it’s “all music” but surely genres must mean something.
Then there’s The Beatles. They have never won a Grammy for Record of the Year, the award which is seen to recognise the song that most captured that year’s Zeitgeist. In the years they produced 'Runner Soul', 'Revolver' and 'Sgt. Pepper' they didn’t win.
The Record of the Year in 1967, the year of the Summer of Love, was Frank Sinatra’s 'Strangers in the Night'. In 1968, the year of the student riots in America and Vietnam’s darkest hour, it was The 5th Dimension with 'Up Up and Away'.
At this remove those records look like more a part of the 1950s than the 1960s. In the 1960’s too, Bob Dylan, the spokesman for the 60s generation, producing at the time the music of his life, won no Grammys at all. Finger, pulse? I think not.
Yet this year, 55 years after they split, The Beatles are at last in the running for Record of the Year with 'Now and Then'. How can this even be?
The Grammys exhibit a level of conservatism that would make the Burke family blush. Hip-hop artists once refused to submit works to the Grammys in protest at how frequently hip-hop was sidelined. I’m not sure they should have bothered.
But it’s in the weirdness of the categories that the Grammys truly shine. Just a few: Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance, Best Musica Urbana Album, Best Tropical Latin Album, Best Immersive Audio Album, best Regional Roots Music Album and, my new favourite, Best Boxed or Special Limited-Edition Package.
Yes, boxed sets have become so elaborate they have their own category now. Foremost amongst these is John Lennon’s box. You should watch the unboxing online. It is a very mediocre album no matter how you present it, but the top line box set of it will cost you €1,495.
Kate Bush’s Baskerville Edition of is a snip at £480, and it isn’t just an album, but a piece of art you can hang on your wall. It’s all a bit crazy. So, my Fontaine friends, should you win: Smile, accept, and run like the wind!
