Ireland's Fittest Family recap: Nugents and Davy Fitzgerald go through to semi-final

A good day for the clans from Louth and Monaghan on Ireland's Fittest Family, but tonight's episode marked the end of the line for the Cork family

The Cooney family with Donnacha O'Callaghan on Ireland's Fittest Family. 

A series of thoughts run through my mind when watching the first of two quarter-finals in RTÉ’s Ireland’s Fittest Family. Firstly, how many profanities have been bleeped out of this show? Secondly, you wouldn’t want to have bad knees. Honestly, mine are creaking just watching this. And I am 24.

In tonight's installment from The Forest (aka Kilruddery Estate), four families are battling it out for a place in the semi-finals. There’s the McNally’s from Monaghan who are taking the competition very seriously, with Dad Owen erecting homemade torture devices — sorry we mean 'challenges’ — for his kids to practice at home.

The Cooneys from Cork, meanwhile, have been spending their recent leisure time paintballing. “When it comes to the other families, we won’t show them any mercy,” a smirking 17-year-old Grace says. 

Coach Anna Geary has two families in tonight’s quarter-family, the McNally's from Monaghan and the Gallaghers from Donegal. Divvying up her time “won’t suit her” according to fellow coach Donncha O'Callaghan who is hoping to bring glory to Cork with the Cooneys from Mourneabbey. “Anna could bottle this,” he says.

The Gallagher family with coach Anna Geary. 

Davy Fitzgerald is also tasked with getting us hyped up for tonight’s events. “I believe my family are good,” he says of the Nugents from Louth, “but Fittest Family can throw up anything."

Indeed it can — our first challenge of the night is a newbie, ‘All Tyred Out’. The obstacle course sees the four families slip and slide through a tyre obstacle course while Darragh Maloney commentates like it’s an All-Ireland championship final.

Davy’s Donegal titans end up coming first in this challenge, with the McNally’s in second, a very frustrated-looking Cooney family in third and the Gallagher’s in fourth. 

Next up, it’s time for old favourite ‘Hanging Tough’ which we’re told is the “ultimate test of willpower.” I’d argue not ordering a Coke with my spicebag is tougher but whatever you say Maloney. For this one, all families have to hang in the air above a lake, with the family who can last the longest, topping the leaderboard.

The Nugent family with coach Davy Fitzgerald.

The winners of this event are again, the Nugents, with a combined time of 8 minutes and 3 seconds, significantly more than the McNally’s in second with 7 minutes 7 seconds, the Gallaghers with 6 minutes 42 seconds and the Cooney’s in last place once more with just 5 minutes and 4 seconds.

That means it’s Anna versus Donnacha, or the Gallaghers versus the Cooneys, in the eliminatation challenge.

“I’ll be honest with you,” a fluffy-haired Donnacha O’Callaghan promises, “I am sick of losing to Anna Geary.” 

The Elimination challenge is frustration on steroids, with obstacles like the ramp seemingly impossible to clear, with families running up, sliding down... running up... sliding down... running up...

Finally, mercifully, it comes to an end when all three of the kids in the Gallagher family manage to pull their mother up the ramp.

“The Cooney’s are going home, but they’ve had an awesome day,” the commentator quips. They'd probably have mixed feelings about that.