Sharon Van Etten: 'I don't know a lot of women on the road that have kids'
Sharon Van Etten plays Cork Opera House and Vicar Street, Dublin.
Life on the road was once second nature to Sharon Van Etten. The singer-songwriter left her home in New Jersey as a teenager, forging a career in music and embracing the peripatetic lifestyle that went with it. However, touring is different now that she is a parent to a five-year-old son.
“I know lots of parents on the road, but I don't know a lot of women on the road that have kids. And it's just a different feeling. Mothers feel way more guilt — I know dads feel it too, maybe they hide it more, but it's easier for them to just walk away,” she says. "Being a mother is now a huge part of my identity, in the context of the decisions that I'm making, where I live, what tours I choose to go on, what jobs I choose to take. And it’s still something I'm figuring out.”
The 41-year-old is back on the road after the lockdown-enforced hiatus, touring her sixth album, , which has been racking up deservedly stellar reviews.
She is talking to me backstage from the Stockholm venue where she is due to perform on a bill including long-time collaborators The National and Cat Power. Her delight and gratitude at being back on stage is real, but so is the angst that goes with it.
“We're almost two weeks in and I love it. I’m having so much fun but it is a lot to go back into. It's emotional. It's intense. It's a lot of work. And I think everyone is new to this again. The audiences have been wonderful. And my band has been rising to the occasion. And my whole entire circle — my family — that I've been travelling with is just the best. I can't really ask for anything more than that.”
Van Etten is looking forward to two Irish gigs this time around, at Vicar St in Dublin and at Cork Opera House as part of the Cork Midsummer Festival. While it’s tough to be away from her son, it helps that Van Etten’s partner, her former drummer turned manager, Zeke Hutchins, is in the business too.
“He knows how hard it is for me to be gone. I feel guilty all the time. I get nervous about how much longer I can do this because my son starts real school this year. I'm going to take some time to actually be present for kindergarten because it's such a big deal. But I know that I can't be done with music. I just need to figure out a better balance.”
If anyone can achieve that elusive balance, it’s Van Etten. As well as performing, composing film scores and acting — she had roles in the Netflix hit sci-fi series as well as David Lynch’s 2017 reboot — she has also been studying psychology, with a view to eventually becoming a therapist. It’s a move that makes sense for someone who has laid bare her vulnerability in her songs.
The reason she left home as a teenager was to pursue a doomed and destructive relationship which she sang about in much of her early work. Her empathy, which shines through in her sublime vocals, also inspires a deep sense of connection with her fans, to whom she feels a responsibility.
“When I first started considering it [psychology], it was because I was meeting a lot of fans that were telling me personal stories and I appreciated it so much. But I felt a sense of responsibility as I didn't really know what to tell them all the time, I wished I had something more to offer. But I also know that's not my role. Hopefully, I'm saying things in my music that they weren't able to express and that's why they're connecting with it. It made me want to help teach people to express themselves because I'm so glad I found music.”
Being in tune with herself and others has also helped Van Etten with the big changes in her life in recent years. She upped sticks from New York to Los Angeles, with what she describes as almost ‘comedic’ timing.
“We had just finished a tour supporting Bon Iver in September 2019. We moved to LA the day of our last show, finished building out the studio in the garage in January 2020, and we were planning a wedding that was supposed to happen in May 2020. And then, you know what happened.”
As well as Covid, they also had to contend with wildfires raging on their doorstep but Van Etten says there was some comfort to be found in the rhythms of domestic life.
“Having that time to nest and connect with my son who at the time was three, it was a really beautiful time to be home and focus on my family and my new life. I feel like the universe called my bluff — okay, you moved to Los Angeles to have more space, more time at home and to learn how to record and do more score work. And I was able to explore that in the real world.”
This see-sawing emotions that many people experienced during lockdown are explored in , which was produced in her home studio. Van Etten didn’t release any teaser singles for the album, as she wanted listeners to experience it old-school style, in its entirety and in the right order — quite the ask in a world where delayed gratification is an increasingly abstract concept. She sounds slightly surprised that people have been honouring her wish.
“Actually, people have been very receptive to it — especially those who love the experience of an album, who grew up in the 90s and get that sense of anticipation. It means so much to me in terms of what I was trying to represent with this album — everything that happened in the last couple of years. All the emotions were different. All the circumstances were different.
"There were good days, there were bad days, there were in-between days, and I don't feel like one song in the record could really sum up the cycle of emotions that we all felt over the course of two years. So I feel very appreciative for those that did make the effort to experience the record in that way.”
- Sharon Van Etten plays Cork Opera House, with Maija Sofia, as part of the Cork Midsummer Festival, Jun 23, 7.30pm
- Tolü Makay: The artist, singer and songwriter, born in Nigeria and raised in the midlands, showcases her inspirational work in an iconic Cork venue. The Kino, Jun 17, 7pm - 10pm (every 30 minutes)
- Pretty Happy: The Cork three-piece return to their hometown after a few weeks on the road supporting Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon on her UK and European tour. Support is from veteran duo Big Boy Foolish. Coughlans, June 17
- Camilla George: The Nigerian-born saxophonist and her all-star band offer a beguiling mix of Afrofuturism, hip-hop and jazz. Triskel Arts Centre, Jun 18, 8pm.
- HTRK with Mantua: The shape-shifting Australian duo bring their unique sound to Cork, featuring Elaine Malone as special guest. Cyprus Avenue, Jun 19, 10pm.
- Under the Same Sky: This audio-visual installation by Lithuanian artist Kristina Inčiūraitė, in collaboration with UCC Choir, utilises a vocal soundscape to showcase the uniqute landscape of the Burren. St Luke's Crypt, Jun 15-26, 11am - 5pm, free.
- Fête de la Musique: A taste of international music culture as nine artists from Cork, Paris and Senegal fuse hip hop and other genres. Everyman, June 25, 8pm
