Movie review: Emily Blunt is absolutely luminous in Jungle Cruise

Plus: The True Don Quixote is a reminder that the maddest thing of all is to see life as it is, and not as it should be

Dwayne Johnson is in fine beefcake form with some of the cheesiest puns ever in Jungle Cruise.

Jungle Cruise ****

Movies based on theme park rides tend not to inspire a huge amount of confidence, but Disney’s Jungle Cruise (12A) delivers in spades. Maverick scientist Dr Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) departs London in 1916, bound for the Amazon jungle and — she hopes — the mythical ‘Tears of the Moon’, aka blossoms from a tree reputed to effect miracle cures. 

Unable to find any reputable boat captain to ferry her into the remotest reaches of the Amazon, Lily is obliged to settle for the raffish Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson), who is as charming as he is duplicitous, and broke to boot. Pursued by the grasping Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons), a German aristocrat who will stop at nothing to secure the Tears of the Moon for his own wicked ends, Lily and Frank embark on an epic adventure. 

Written by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra, and directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, Jungle Cruise is an unashamedly old-fashioned throwback to the halcyon days of the matinee thriller. In terms of plot, it would probably be quicker to list the things the story leaves out: we get cursed conquistadores, fabled arrowheads, cannibalistic headhunters, rapids-shooting thrills-‘n’-spills, cloak-and-dagger espionage, submarines, and a whole lot more besides. 

Story-wise, we’re in the realms of The Jewel of the Nile, The Mummy and Raiders of the Lost Ark, in which a blend of derring-do, supernatural hokum and a dash of romance adds up to a breathless chase against an exotic backdrop (the film is chock-a-block with cinematic references, from The African Queen to Aguirre, Wrath of God). 

Usually the most charismatic presence in whatever movie he stars in, Dwayne Johnson is in fine beefcake form here, this despite his uttering some of the cheesiest puns ever committed to celluloid; but even Johnson’s performance pales by comparison with that of Emily Blunt, who is absolutely luminous as the irrepressible, indefatigable Lily Houghton. (Cinema release)

The True Don Quixote ****

Dressing in a suit of armour adapted from a variety of kitchen utensils, Danny sets out to put the world to rights, enlisting his young neighbour as his squire.

The True Don Quixote (12A) stars Tim Blake Nelson as Danny Kehoe, a gentle soul based in the American mid-West who is plunged into depression when his role as the custodian of a mobile library is taken away. Surrounded by his books of heroic deeds, inspired by ‘the sacred texts of knight-errantry’, and influenced particularly by Don Quixote, our hero experiences an epiphany in which the nonentity Danny Kehoe becomes the self-deluding Don Quixote. Dressing himself in a suit of armour adapted from a variety of kitchen utensils, Danny sets out to put the world to rights, enlisting his young neighbour as his squire Sancho Panza, even if Sancho insists that his name is Kevin (Jacob Batalon). 

Writer-director Chris Poche does a terrific job of adapting Cervantes’ novel for a small-town America setting: instead of battling windmills, Danny sallies forth against oil derricks; instead of his loyal steed Rosinante, Danny putters around town on ‘Rosin’, a ludicrous orange scooter with a sidecar attached. Despite the contemporary setting, however, Poche stays faithful to Cervantes’ inspired lunacy, in the process satirising the cynics, begrudgers and narrow-minded literalists Danny encounters, who do their best to disabuse him of his fantasy, all to no avail. 

Tim Blake Nelson was an inspired casting choice for Don Quixote, his combination of soft drawl, hangdog features and wide-eyed idealism perfect for playing the ‘Knight of the Doleful Countenance’, and he gets strong support from Jacob Batalon as the pragmatic Kevin, who initially resists Danny’s entreaties but eventually decides that crazy trumps boredom. By turns poignant, sad, hopeful and hilarious, The True Don Quixote is a reminder that the maddest thing of all is to see life as it is, and not as it should be. (Streaming release)

The Suicide Squad **

The Suicide Squad finds Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) wreaking mayhem once more.

A direct sequel to Suicide Squad (2016), The Suicide Squad (16s) finds Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) wreaking mayhem once more, this time as part of a Black Ops squad sent into the Central American republic of Corto Maltese to neutralise a Nazi-era laboratory and the sinister Project Starfish being overseen by Gaius Grieves (Peter Capaldi). 

The squad includes Bloodsport (Idris Elba), Peacemaker (John Cena) and King Shark (voiced by Sylvester Stallone), but the motley crew have hardly landed on Corto Maltese when they find themselves caught up in a coup launched by the dastardly General Suarez (Joaquín Cosio). What’s a gal to do but cut loose with her grenade launcher? 

James Gunn, who not only wrote the script but previously directed the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, is the ideal man to helm this tale of multi-species chaos – it’s no coincidence, perhaps, that the most entertaining member of the Suicide Squad is the walking, talking shark – but despite the frequent eruptions of violence and its collection of bizarre misfits, the overall effect is surprisingly dull. (Cinema release).