Ireland's Fittest Family: Anna Geary held the Brackens at a cliff with the breeze from her lashes
Ireland's Fittest Family: Derval O'Rourke, Donncha O’Callaghan. and Anna Geary.
"Think about beating your brother."
In true Irish Mammy style, Derval O'Rourke manipulates her way into the lead in last night’s Ireland's Fittest Family.
She knows it's not about practicing in the milk shed or 'backing yourself' (sorry Anna Geary), or how much protein you gobble beforehand. Derval doesn't underestimate the power of sibling rivalry.
Ice cold, much like that lake they're suspended over, she talks Luca into Hanging Tough for five minutes and 32 seconds by using the greatest motivator known to mammykind for millennia. Getting the bragging rights on the older brother.
Poor Sabian spluttering away in the brackish water, squinting up at Luca, looking like Jesus on the cross above him, legs folded, head serenely on one shoulder.
The 15-year-old saviour gets the third-best time in eight series of what is, let's face it, televised torture. He tells the camera he only ever got about a minute in practice as Derval strokes a white Persian cat in the background, with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
Her family, the Kulczynskis, top both events in the second of the quarter-finals, but her other team, the O’Rourkes, have to battle it out in the eliminator against Anna's Bracken clan.
Donncha O'Callaghan’s family, the Allens, get through by the skin of their teeth - and all thanks to Ruth, who steps up for the Pontoons of Pain when brother Tom feels nauseated at the thought of it. She takes a different approach to the balance beam, and the nation crosses its legs and winces as she decides to drag herself along in a splinterfest of determination rather than risk falling off the log. Me nerves!
Still, her father had it worse. Donncha got Tyson Allen in training by trying the Wim Hof technique, which sounds fancy but basically involves dunking the man into a blue bin full of ice water. Not a bother to him, though, he gets out of it and starts doing a bit of Tai Chi for the craic. All sinew and veins and farmer’s tan, he has Donncha agape with admiration.
“He’s like Ned Flanders. If I had a body like Ticey Allen, I’d never wear a top.”
Really, Donncha? Referencing The Simpsons and getting me to imagine you shirtless in one sentence? It’s almost too much for a Sunday night.
For their training, Anna Geary brought the Brackens to the side of the cliff and held them there with the breeze from her blinking eyelashes. There were ropes, sure, but I feel they were superficial.
It isn’t enough in the end and her last chance is eliminated.
- Ireland’s Fittest Family airs on RTÉ One Sundays, 6.30pm
