Ask Audrey: My nephew gets turned on thinking about Fianna Fáil transfers in Carlow-Kilkenny

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...

I had to broaden my Tinder search last month, because the only Cork people on offer were from Newmarket. (It’s like they took the worst bits of Limerick and Kerry and put them in a person.) Long story short, last Friday night I was in bed with a doctor from New Ross in Wexford, dangerously close to Waterford, bit of a turn on if I’m honest. When it came to orgasm time, didn’t he turn into a Super Bogger GAA Man and start shouting ‘hup the yellow-bellies, hup the yellow bellies’ before lying back and going to sleep. He didn’t exactly check if I had enjoyed the ride if you get my drift.

What do you think I should do?