Ask Audrey: The one thing that might impress a Cork woman is you not being septic even though you’re from Dublin

Sorting out Cork people for years...

How’re oo’ goin’ on? Herself is after falling with a pack of permanently offended snowflakes inside in Bantry and didn’t she come the other night with a big announcement. Breaking the habit of a lifetime, I will not be allowed to sing Last Christmas by Wham at the Credit Union Dinner Dance, as it is offensive to organ donors. (The snowflakes don’t like the way your one got a heart, and then gave it away, the very next day.) What else could I sing?