Tantric sex has been going on for over 5,000 years. (And there was Sting boasting about five hours.) It’s an Eastern spiritual approach to sex, where you delay your orgasm in order to reach fuller union with your partner.
I tried it with my yoga instructor once and we managed 47 minutes. We could have gone on for longer, except the bus arrived at Parnell Place and the driver shouted, “Sorry to spoil yeer fun there now lads, but I have to go on my break.”
That’s a shame; keep trying. I’m afraid looking for a jam donut is as passé as scoring with a stranger after a Pina Colada promotion. (Great times.) My dim nephew is after opening a chain of donut shops. I said what’s the difference between modern donuts and jammy ones? He said about €1.50 a pop.
I said maybe you’re not as dim as I thought you were.
He said, I am to be honest, but not as the dim as the people who come into my shops, and that’s the main thing Auntie Auds.
How long have you got? Yes, my sources tell me that Posh Cork now refers to Crook as YoughalHaven. It’s so bad that my Posh Cousin told me she was drinking a €14 gin and tonic down there last weekend, when someone mentioned St Al’s without laughing.
The high net-worth people who were there drifted back towards their Range Rovers and headed for Goleen without saying a word. They were seen in Schull later that night, arguing about who should foot the bill if they put up a Norry-proof wall.
Since that, nothing, they’ve completely disappeared. Who will look down on us now, Reggie?
Just like your face. It’s true what you say, they’d give a new car to anyone these days.
But Posh Cork didn’t get where it is by being mistaken for a Norry.
That’s why they set up a new Facebook group called You Wouldn’t Catch Me Dead in Turner’s Cross. The idea is you post up a video of that moment in the car dealership when the guy asks if you need finance, at which point you burst out laughing and say, “What do you think I am, a teacher or something?”
Sorry for the delay, I fell asleep reading your letter.
Anyway, I hear the new flights to Switzerland are a huge hit with Cork men called Ken who don’t want to be bothering the Revenue with their excess profits and the like. Here is a typical conversation you can expect with a local in Cork.
You: “So, Donie, tell me about your ‘second city’.” Donie: “How do you mean second, like?” You: “Well, Dublin is the capital.” Donie: “That’s right, yeah.” You. “So, you are second.” Donie: “Where are you from?” You: “Zurich.” Donie: “Do you consider yourself second to Vienna?” You: “Vienna is in Austria.” Donie: “Answer the question, like.”