Ask Audrey: Helping you land that white helicopter for the Holy Communion

Audrey’s been sorting out Cork people for ages! She’s back again this week to solve all your problems, including avoiding an OTT Holy Communion.

C’mere girl, I’m allergic to my fella these days. He’s a Man United fan, and is having a problem with his erection because they can’t win the league. (He blames Jose Mourinho.)

Is there anything I can do? Noelle, Togher, he has no interest in GAA.