My Conor does the same when I tell him to get down off the couch. It’s amazing what a bit of training can do. I think you should be safe enough. For all of Trump’s talk about keeping dangerous fanatics out of America, he still hasn’t put a ban on Norries.
I must say, l love going to a casino with Conor. He gets so engrossed with losing our life savings that he rarely notices when I run away with a Russian oligarch to his boat out in the bay. Well, actually it was a Lithuanian plumber with a flat in Little Island. You have to lower your expectations when you go to a casino in Cobh.
Who cares as long as you have a Scottish accent. Although I haven’t a clue what they are on about in Trainspotting. I went to the new one last weekend to feast my filthy eyes on Ewan McGregor, and the dialogue reminded me of a debate I went to once in Dungarvan. (The motion was that this house would change its socks more than once a month. It was heavily defeated.)
As for getting attention in your sexy kilts, let’s put it this way. The match is on at 2.30pm so most proper rugby fans will be langers by noon. And as anyone who lives near Cork Con can tell you, a drunk rugby fan will chase anything in a skirt. Forget about attracting women — your main problem will be scaring away the lads.
La Gom was what we called our French teacher in school. Lagom, on the other hand, is the Swedish term for just the right amount. It also means I’m going to make a fortune selling self-help books to a shower of eejits. It’s attracting huge interest on the Blackrock Road, because they are mad for the new thing down there.
Wait until they discover Lagom is basically about taking what you need and sharing the rest with others. They’ll ditch it in less time than it takes a Sunday’s Well woman to tell you her grandsons are in Christians. (Three seconds after you meet her.)
Sure what else would they be doing? I’m well aware that West Cork is the randiest place in Munster. (I thought it was the randiest in Ireland until I stopped for petrol in Athlone.) For example, I’m told that Leap is called Leap because, well, you know yourself. I’m sorry to hear about all the perverts on Tinder.
And there was I thinking it was full of men looking for a meaningful relationship. If it helps, I’m happy to say that Kinsale is not full of people looking for a bit on the side. Mainly because they’ve already found it with their friend’s husband, says you.
And no knickers, by all accounts. As for showing off wealth, I hear Posh Cork has gone mad for a new gadget you put on top of your car, that displays your bank balance in real time. It’s about as classy as a Killorglin man with two gold teeth.