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Hello old stock. My wife Tina hacked into my Tinder account and let’s just say I need a solicitor. Do you have a number for Laura Wasser, the hotshot lawyer hired by Angelina Jolie, before Tina gets her hands on my millions? Reggie, Montenotte, do you think I could have a fling with Angelina?

I’d say there’s a better chance that she might adopt you. You’re dead right to hire decent representation before Tina gets her act together. Forget about the kids.