Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years

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Hey man, I’m like a 22-year-old billionaire, thanks to my app that means you can close down a factory just by swiping left. It’s so cool. Anyway, my Reiki healer said I should put an office in Cork because like tax and Apple and stuff. Would you guys like that? – Erikk with two ‘k’s, San Francisco, my motto is ‘Do unto others, because you are the king.’

You sound about as pleasant as a low-tide swim in Kinsale. Still, you would fit in nicely with Cork’s motto, Statio Bene Fide Carinis. That’s Latin for ‘We’d do anything for the bit of money.’ You’ll find Cork is full of talented young people, desperately looking for work so they can afford the rent on half a cardboard box in Mallow. As for tax and stuff, knock twice on the fifth green door on Douglas Street. There’s an accountant there called Dodgy Donie, he’ll get your paperwork done in under an hour.