You don’t see many tattoos west of Bandon. I hear they are about as rare down there as taking a shower during the week.
Bear in mind no-one will take you seriously if you walk around with ‘I love Ballinascarthy’ written on your arm. And a tattoo can put a fierce strain on your relationship.
My Conor suggested that we get matching tattoos to proclaim our love. He forgot to say it should be our love for each other. So now I have ‘I’ll never forget you Rodrigo, or is it Luis’ written across the back of my neck.
My Conor wouldn’t talk to me for six months. Every cloud, says you.
Remind me to give tapas a miss for a while.
You are not alone on the supermarket uniform dilemma. Half of posh Cork is looking for new ways to use their kids to ram their wealth down other people’s throats.
I hear the most Googled term in Blackrock is ‘Louboutins for kids.’ Followed closely by ‘fee-paying primary schools in Cork’ and ‘Is it true that Tesco is full of Norries?’
He’ll struggle to get rid of it. You’ll struggle with the lingo in West Cork. It’s mainly muttering, whistling and the word ‘Crysht’. I find the best way to prepare for it is to listen to a badly tuned-in Christian radio station.
A couple of phrases should come in handy for your dirty weekend. A collection of local lads is known as ‘the min’. They should be greeted with ‘how are the min?’
And sorry to be the bearer of bad news... For every well-toned rower in Skibbereen, there are ten guys who have a nickname for their beer belly.
I didn’t realise there was any other kind of German. Car choice is tricky for the Wild Atlantic Way.
Arrive into parts of West Cork driving anything less than a Mercedes and people will have nothing to say to you. Except maybe, “Any chance you could wash my yacht there, old stock?” My advice is to change down to a smaller car for the next part of the trip. You don’t want to drive around the Ring of Kerry in an expensive car.
It’s not unusual to hear a bar owner in Killorglin whisper “He’s driving a Merc, Eileen, lash one fifty on to the price of a Purple Snack.”
I hope it gets sorted out soon and they move the gigs from the Marquee into town.
I’m sick of mouth-breathing culchies parking around my place in Ballinlough before the gigs. I had to go out and ask one of them to move the other night because I didn’t want the neighbours to think I know someone from Westmeath.
I can’t repeat here what your one said in reply.
Mainly because she’s from Westmeath and I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.