Eoin Colfer's new play looks at the pathos and humour of Multiple Sclerosis

Artemis Fowl author Eoin Colfer has written a play based on his oldest friend’s diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, writes Colette Sheridan

FOR Eoin Colfer, whose play about a man with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) will be performed as part of the West Cork Fit-Up Theatre Festival, the challenge was to find a balance between pathos and humour.

Colfer, one of the world’s favourite children’s authors, was inspired to write My Real Life after his oldest friend was diagnosed with the disease.

Before the diagnosis, Colfer says his friend was always going on about his back giving him trouble and not being able to go to work.

“I’d be slagging him saying he was a bit of a malingerer. I came home for two days from my teaching job in Saudi Arabia and rang him up saying we had to go out. ‘Don’t tell me your back and legs are at you,’ I said to him. And then he hit me with the line that he had just been diagnosed with MS. I was pretty shook up.

"We discussed a lot of things and he affected me deeply. I didn’t know how deeply until years later, I was asked to write a short piece for a fund-raiser for the Wexford Arts Centre along with John Banville, Colm Tóibín and Billy Roche.

"I basically wrote down the conversation I’d had with my friend after he told me (about his diagnosis). He was diagnosed 20 years ago and is doing really well on a drug that has stabilised him,” says Colfer.

For Colfer, the most important lesson he learned from writing about a man with MS was not to label people “by the state of their mind or their physical affliction.” Ben Barnes, artistic director of the Theatre Royal in Waterford, asked Colfer to extend the 15-minute piece into a play as it had been so well received.

Although Colfer had written a number of plays in the past before focusing on his eight part series of the best-selling ‘Artemis Fowl’ novels, he was nervous about writing for the stage. “But with Ben on board to direct Don Wycherley, I had to step up to the plate.”

The play’s lone character, Noel, delivers a rambling suicide note for his best friend, which he records onto a 90-minute cassette tape. The idea is that the friend will compose a speech from it which will be delivered at Noel’s wake.

While that sounds depressing, Colfer has injected the play with plenty of levity and references to 1980s pop song lyrics.

Colfer’s career continues to flourish. He was commissioned by Disney and Marvel to write an ‘Iron Man’ book. “That’s coming out in October so it’s quite exciting.”

The adventures of Artemis Fowl are being made into a movie with Hollywood heavy-hitters, Harvey Weinstein and Robert De Niro, as executive producers. Kenneth Branagh is directing.

“I spoke to Conor McPherson last week and he has submitted the screenplay which has been approved. So now, it’s down to scheduling and the search for two young leads. I try not to get too excited about it or it could take over my life. But I am a little jubilant inside.”

Colfer doesn’t miss his former career as a teacher.

“But I miss being part of the staff. It’s great to be in a bunch of people doing the same job. I miss having a good old chin wag so I sometimes go to book festivals and go for a drink with fellow writers. I still hang out with my teacher friends. When they’re talking about the department of education, I can’t help realising that I don’t feel their pain as much as I used to.”

My Real Life by Eoin Colfer will be performed at Bank House, Whiddy Island, on August 9 followed by Kilcrohane Community Hall on August 10, Timoleague Community Hall on August 11, and Baltimore Community Hall on August 12. www.fit-uptheatrefestival.com.