Six ways to enjoy the wild freedom of being free and single this Valentine's Day
SOMETIMES when you’re single, it can seem the whole world wants to remind you what you’re missing out on. That’s why Valentine’s Day was invented, right - to rub salt in the sorry wounds of singles and to undermine their lack of plus one status?
So while there may not be a soppy card and chocs waiting for you this February 14 - there could be a big bouquet of joy out there, if you go looking for it.
The catch is: you’ll need to find it yourself. You need to get out there and invest in yourself.
It’s not a question of single vs relationships (they can both be good, and they can both be pretty damn difficult too), but it is about looking on the bright side of singledom - so here are six ways through being single that you can seriously boost your wellbeing.
Most of us complain we don’t have enough time, but when you’re single, especially newly single, filling those endless hours you’d usually have spent with a significant other can feel daunting.
The quiet weekends you once longed for are suddenly reminders of your aloneness. They are also a wonderful opportunity to discover a new passion.
Hobbies make life more interesting, make you a more confident, well-rounded person and they’re also a fantastic distraction - backed up by science.
There’s good reason music, art and craft activities are used as therapies, and studies have found that engaging in hobbies stimulates the mind and reduces depression and the effects of stress.
It might take a while to discover your true hobby passion - but get out there and have a blast looking.
There are so many married couples out there who dream of having the time and money to try out things like diving and kayaking. So how about trying them out?
There is nobody stopping you from going travelling.
Relationships can tie you down as you have to take somebody else’s career, mortgage and family responsibilities into account.
Being in a relationship can stop you doing that that six months travelling in Asia or applying for that job in New York.
Now there’s only you stopping yourself.
I’m not talking about romantic love. I’m talking about being in love with fitness.
You don’t need me to tell you how regular exercise will safeguard your future health and help ward off major diseases and depression - you know all that already.
What I will tell you though is that since my last break-up, I’m fitter than I’ve ever been - and all the happier for it.
At first, getting out on my bike, or heading to a bootcamp on Saturday mornings, gave me a reason to get out of bed and face the day.
Over time, it became a source of new-found body confidence, helped me feel physically and mentally stronger, and has transformed my life in ways I never would have imagined possible.
Again, don’t be put off if you’re not the sportiest/fastest/slimmest... the joys of fitness are just too good to miss.
We moan and yearn for peace and quiet, and then when we get it, we moan there’s nothing to do and panic that we’re sad and friendless!
Here’s the thing: most humans need some downtime: to chill, to listen to music, to read.. It helps us rebalance, recharge and focus.
If you want to fill every moment with activities, and that’s what works for you, fantastic - but there’s real value in saving some time for doing, well, absolutely nothing too.
Embrace those quiet moments, and learn to enjoy them, will not only bring a sense of calm, but mean you’re more present and energised when you are filling your time with activities and other people.
So it’s win-win, really.
Be nice to yourself. Generally speaking, when you’re single, you get spoilt less, because there isn’t a significant other who puts you at the top of their Christmas shopping priority list.
I’ll tell you what is fun - treating yourself.
Life is too short to wait for somebody else to make you feel special, and, since there’s no significant other buying you gifts, you save money on not having to buy them any either!
There is nothing shallow or selfish about spending some of your hard-earned cash on a few treats for yourself (within reason); we can all benefit from a little boost every now and then.
And remember, if you want somebody to love you, you have to love yourself.
Don’t be bitter. Be grateful for your health, your family, your friends, that you’re not trapped in a miserable replationship.
So it’s not you walking down the aisle and exchanging vows with the love of your life. So it’s not you posting insanely cute baby pics on Facebook. And it’s not you who has a warm hand to hold on cold, winter walks .
No, it’s not you - now. But one day, it might be you enjoying those lovely things.
So savour good fortune, cheer for happy times.
A good way to rewire your brain into being grateful is to get into the habit of thinking of three good things that happened each day as you feel asleep.
It can be as simple as that it didn’t rain, that you had a good day at work and you caught up with a friend for a chat.
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