Sex advice with Suzi Godson: Can I get the lust back in my marriage?

I used to lust after my wife so much. However, since having children our sex life has diminished. She is as beautiful and stimulating as ever, but we hardly have sex any more. My feelings for her have moved on from sexuality to a deeper connection. How can we get some of that original feeling back?

You describe a problem that affects almost all committed couples to some degree. Sexual frequency declines over time in all relationships because sexual tension feeds on novelty, and therefore it is antithetical to the comfortable companionship that is integral to long-term commitment.

Some couples can pinpoint the precise moment their sex lives changed; having a baby, for example. Others experience a more gradual decline, and it can be difficult to identify what prompted the initial deterioration.