For men, decorating is all about seduction, distraction and the kill

JUST read over the testosterone-fuelled prose clawing up the side of a meaty bottle of aftershave: "A muscular hint of sandalwood impacts with a fistful of leather, held in firm command by a seductive breath of woodsmoke and musk."

What is going on here? Well, he might be well hidden in the 21st century and his steed just the ride-on mower, but when it comes to sight, touch and smell — being a man is still clearly an ancient and primal affair.

If the advertising bumpf is to be believed, a chunk of his essential being is still honed for making fire, seizing prey and gathering a mate from the wider environment.