Hollywood nightmares of a Corkman

IMAGINE you are a fish, swimming in an ocean filled to the brim with other fish who are a lot like you but better in many ways. And instead of not wanting to be caught, you, the fish, are desperate to be reeled in by the fisherman.

“Cast me, cast me!” you plead with your eyes as the fisherman toys with you in his net. “To keep and cast or to be thrown back in the ocean with all the other duds?” the fisherman asks himself as he examines you up and down like a piece of meat. Welcome to the world of Hollywood auditions.!

So you’re out one night in a Hollywood bar. You meet a manager. He nods and laughs at all your jokes. Hypes you up to yourself. “You should be in this, in that, in all of those!” Interesting, you nod back, ignoring the fact this manager has already introduced you to people as “My new client from Finland” and “Hottest comedian in Iceland!”. Ignore that. Just focus on the large sums of money he mentioned you would get for little work, if you get the part. So you nod your head and go along for the ride. (Pretty sure that’s how many people end up in porn.)