Tearing from childbirth means I find sex is too painful

Q. I had my first a baby eight months ago. The birth was traumatic and I needed a lot of stitches to repair extensive tearing.

I now find myself feeling very tense every time it comes to sex. Sometimes it hurts so much I have to tell my husband to stop. It’s got to the point where he is afraid of hurting me and I’ve all but lost interest in sex. How do we get back to our previously relaxed sex life?

A. I do not know if you’ve seen your obstetrician about this. If not, you should visit your GP and ask for a referral. If you encounter resistance point out that the ongoing pain is making penetrative sex impossible.