Working through her pain

Dragon’s Den star Norah Casey’s busy schedule has partly eased the grief of her husband’s death last year, says Rachel Borril

BUSINESSWOMAN and Dragon’s Den star Norah Casey’s schedule is so hectic, she has little time to think. She is up at 4am for her radio show on Newstalk; then it’s into her Dublin office to run her publishing company; and every Friday she presents RTÉ’s new afternoon show from Cork.

But that is the point. Norah does not want time to think. Last year, her beloved husband, Richard Hannaford, 49, died of cancer, leaving Norah and their then 12-year-old son, Dara, grief-stricken.

“Yes, it has been really difficult. Richard’s first anniversary has just passed and, of course, the first year for anyone bereaved is always very hard. But, I have to say, I didn’t have the choice of opting out of life for a while. I had a son to care for,” she says, her eyes brimming with tears.

“The winter was pretty cruel and difficult. We had Dara’s 13th birthday in December, Christmas, and my wedding anniversary is on New Year’s Eve. I can remember thinking ‘I will do anything just to get to Jan 2’, to say we got through all of that,” she says.

Not surprisingly, her son has been a huge source of strength for her, and Norah says that she does not make any career decisions without the support and backing of ‘my boy.’

“We are incredibly close. He is very empathetic, he will often stop and say: ‘Are you okay, Mum, do you need a hug?’ I always took the view, from the very beginning, that it was healthy if we had a few tears together,” she says quietly, pausing to take a deep breath.

“But, on the same token, if he was feeling grief-stricken, the last thing I would do was join him in that, my role then is to comfort him. We talk about Richard all the time. If anything bad happens, we talk to him and that is healthy for us,” she says.

We meet for coffee in her office at Harmonia, Ireland’s largest magazine publishing company. Norah is running late, and apologises profusely when we shake hands. She looks tired, smaller in the flesh, and even vulnerable. She is not the intimidating and fierce ‘dragon’ we know so well. Norah maintains eye contact throughout the interview, showing her pain and her grief, but, occasionally, her eyes also light up, as she laughs, remembering happier times.

Clearly excited by the challenge of her new role, as the Friday presenter along side Blaithnaid Ni Chofaigh on RTÉ’s Today Show, Norah says she will be able to reveal a different side to her personality, to “kick-back and have a bit of fun.”

“I am a bit of a thinker, a bit nerdy. I love talking about politics and current affairs. But I am also a bit of a girlie. I love fashion, I love beauty. I talk about it all the time. Whenever the boys say: ‘Norah, it’s so shallow, this season’s new look.’ I say: ‘You guys get excited about a bunch of men fighting over a ball every weekend. Don’t tell me I am shallow’,” she says.

Norah, 52, describes her childhood as “idyllic”. She grew up in the Phoenix Park, where her father worked as a park ranger, caring for the graves in Arbour Hill. Her mother still lives in the tithe family home.

“It will go when she passes away, which will be incredibly difficult. I don’t like to think about it,” Norah says, shaking her head.

“I can’t ever imagine passing that house and it not being our home, it is such a big part of all our lives. I know every inch of the Phoenix Park, and we have planted an oak tree for Richard there, too.”

At the age of 16, Norah left home after being persuaded by her father to study nursing at a hospital in Loch Lomond, Scotland.

Although she was “surprised’ by this career choice, Norah was eager to leave as her local priest had “high hopes” that she might become a nun.

“I always had a bit of a wild streak and it was a chance to leave home, stretch my wings and have some fun,” she says.

“I loved it. I saw illnesses, life and death — a huge slice of life, which has stayed with me. It was a grounding for life.”

But after confronting her worst fears by treating burns victims, especially babies, Norah decided nursing was not for her and trained as a journalist.

She met the “love of her life” at a media dinner in London in 1992. Richard was the BBC’s health correspondent and, initially, they were just friends as Norah was “nervous” about another relationship, following the breakdown of her first marriage.

“We didn’t kiss for a year,” she says, to my shock. “We were constantly finding reasons to meet for lunch, for dinner, but there was not so much as a peck on the cheek. I kept thinking: ‘Tonight is going to be the night,’ but it wasn’t.”

“I think, often, when people start a relationship it is the physical thing first and then they begin to get to know each other. We were completely the opposite. We knew every nuance of each other’s lives. So, when the kiss finally happened — in front of all my staff — we knew pretty instantaneously that we would spend the rest of out lives together.”

After marrying in 1996, they started trying for a family, but, unfortunately, every time Norah conceived she would miscarry within a couple of weeks.

“I thought ‘here is the love of my life, wouldn’t it be great to have a baby to cement this relationship,’ she says. “But it didn’t happen like that. It was incredibly stressful. If somebody asked: ‘When are you two going to have a child?’ I would bawl my eyes out.

“It very quickly became the central focus of our lives. I was obsessed when it came to that time of the month, the disappointment was horrendous,” she says.

They tried everything, including intracytoplasmic sperm injection, (ICSI), but, when Norah miscarried twins at eleven weeks, they decided “enough was enough.” Her body could no longer take the injections and hormones and she was exhausted.

“We convinced ourselves that if we couldn’t have children, we would be fine, we would still have a lovely life and do all sorts of other things,” she says. Two months later, Norah discovered she was pregnant again, with her “miracle” son.

It was Dara who asked the most difficult question, after his father had been diagnosed with cancer. Was he going to die?

“For a 12-year-old boy, leading both myself and Richard towards the reality of his dying was extraordinary. It was very emotional,” she says, softly.

“I can’t tell you the wonderful gift that Blackrock hospice gave myself and Dara, it was this very peaceful death. I now completely understand, for the people left behind it is so important to have something beautiful, the dignity of death. It was a gift for Richard, too.”

* The Today Show is on RTÉ 1 Monday-Friday from 4.30pm. Norah Casey makes her debut tomorrow.