He regrets one-night stand, but how do I move on?

QMy husband of 20 years has admitted to having a one-night stand with a younger woman he met at a work conference. I am furious with him and feel he has damaged our family — we have three teenage children. I know it’s probably a mid-life crisis and that he was hugely flattered by the woman’s attention, but I’ve no intention of forgiving him any time soon. He says he deeply regrets what he did but how can I ever trust him again? Sex is off the agenda right now. I can’t bear to have him near me.

APart of the deal when you get married is that you remain faithful to each other. And when trust is broken the hurt runs deep and the damage can be difficult to repair.

It’s understandable that you have reacted with anger, fury and disbelief. But it is important to put what happened in context. A one night-stand is not an affair. Your husband, probably does not know why he took the risk. We could talk about mid-life crisis, as you suggested, but I wouldn’t get hung up on the cause. The fact is he was unfaithful. It may have been a once-off, sudden infatuation. He went along with the impulsive feelings but that was his choice. Now you both have to deal with the fallout.