Sex File: Should I be worried about my husband's old flame?

"I doubt you have read the latest research on sexual nostalgia but if you had, you might be forgiven for feeling a little threatened."

My husband was recently contacted by an old girlfriend when she and her husband, who have lived abroad for years, were back home. We all met up, and I was happy for him to have this nostalgia rush from his teens, but since then his interest in sex has markedly ramped up. I'm enjoying it but am slightly unnerved. Am I wrong to feel a bit threatened?

I doubt you have read the latest research on sexual nostalgia but if you had, you might be forgiven for feeling a little threatened. It is a fairly niche research area, but a 2020 study at York University in Ontario identified that sexual nostalgia over former romantic partners is often triggered by loneliness or dissatisfaction with a relationship. Instinctively, that makes sense. When the here and now fails to deliver, we have a tendency to reminisce about former lovers. Somehow we always remember the good bits and the great sex while conveniently forgetting the terrible behaviour and the break-ups.