Sex File: My orgasms are better without him

Perhaps you felt anxious sharing the fact that you masturbate, but statistically it would be much more unusual if you didn't: in a 2018 global survey of 13,000 men and women, 92% of men and 78% of women said that they engaged in solo sex.

My husband and I have an active sex life but, if I'm honest, I've always had better orgasms on my own. Is it too late to turn that around? I'd love to feel more intimate with him now that our kids will both be at university and we're in the next chapter of parenthood.

That solo sex delivers stronger and more pleasurable orgasms for you is not particularly unusual. You know your mind and your body better than anyone else, so it stands to reason that you instinctively know how to maximise the pleasure you get from solo sex. The real issue, of course, is that you never thought to share any of this information with your husband. If you had done so 20 years ago, by now he would be incredibly proficient at delivering the kind of stimulation that enables you to have amazing orgasms by yourself. By keeping your techniques to yourself, you denied him the opportunity to learn how to be a better lover.