Sex File: I feel too stressed for Christmas sex 

Picture: iStock 

Am I alone in finding Christmas the least sexy time of year? I'm generally too stressed/tired/full to want it or enjoy it. 

My husband has high hopes as ever, which just gives me another thing to feel guilty about. How do we de-stress festive sex?

Christmas is exhausting. 

By the time the big day comes you are so exhausted from shopping, partying, wrapping, cooking and worrying about your overdraft that by the time you get through the turkey, the only thing you are fit for is 12 hours in front of the telly with a selection box. 

It is a single day in the calendar that requires weeks to prepare for, and although we promise to do it differently next year we never do.

Christmas is and always will be too much, and it is inevitable that the associated increase in social, financial and domestic pressure affects people's sex lives. 

A study by researchers at Stanford and Columbia universities in the US confirms that couples have less sex in the run-up to Christmas. 

But in analysing data from 500,000 women in the US, Britain, France and Brazil, they found that the pre-Christmas lull in sexual activity was followed by a post-Christmas high. 

In fact, the flurry of sexual activity that began after Christmas and rolled into the new year led to an increase in babies being born in the early autumn.

I'd suggest that the best thing for you and your husband to do is accept that sexual activity will take a hit in the run-up to the festivities but plan to make up for it after the holidays. 

If you can resist the temptation to accept Twixmas invitations they can be the most peaceful days of the year. 

The fridge is full and the kids are busy with presents, so it's easier to steal a few hours to yourselves.

Planning for this period well in advance serves two purposes. It makes sure that you have everything you need to make it super-special, and it creates a great deal of sexual anticipation and excitement. 

Why can't Stephen's Day morning be a time for lazy lovemaking? Even if you don't feel particularly sexy, get naked and get close.

Whatever happens, follow it with breakfast in bed served with glasses of chilled bubbly. 

Besides giving you an early morning buzz, research conducted by Dr Jeremy Spencer, a professor of nutritional biochemistry and medicine at the University of Reading, suggests that moderate consumption (about two glasses) of champagne has cardiovascular benefits because the polyphenols slow down the natural removal of nitric oxide from the blood, which improves circulatory function. 

Since male erection and female arousal are dependent on efficient blood flow, anything that improves circulation is beneficial to sex.

Agreeing to save some sexy pressies to unwrap when it's just the two of you is a great opportunity to stock up on toys and props that will see you through the year. 

You might like the Coco de Mer Roseravished Massage Candle, €45.60 ( feelunique.com). 

When the flame melts the wax it turns into a beautifully aromatic rose and sandalwood oil that can be drizzled over your skin and used as a massage oil.

However you do it, spending attention on your sex life in the days after Christmas will increase the likelihood of starting the next year with a smile.

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