Talk To Me: My husband doesn't want my elderly dad to move in with us

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

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My father is in his mid-80s and still independent. Mum died ten years ago after a long illness and he bounced back, taking up cookery lessons and travelling around Europe. It's difficult to see his life begin to diminish. He's in good form most of the time but even the smallest physical task seems to exhaust him. I've suggested to my husband that Dad moves in with us for his final years but he said it wouldn't work, that the house isn't suitable for an elderly person. I know he's right but it breaks my heart to know he's at home alone when he could be living with us.

The philosopher Camus said that after one day in the world, we could live the rest of our lives in solitude as there is so much to digest and seek to understand. In the harvest time of our lives, we may find great solace in finding spaces to reflect and consider its vast bounty. By all accounts, your father has much to savour. We can value solitude increasingly as we age. So don't assume your level of comfort with solitude is the same as your dad's. It will be crucial to involve your dad in the decision-making process and not allow your fears to overwhelm his wishes.