Sex File: She only wants quickies with me 

"Withholding sex in a marriage is often one partner’s attempt to tell the other that something is wrong. Your wife may be feeling angry, depressed or emotionally disconnected."

Pic: iStock

My wife and I are childfree, financially secure and life should be great. The problem is that she shows absolutely no interest in intimacy any more — only quickies at best. I love her to bits. I couldn’t countenance having sex with anyone else, but the thought is increasingly crossing my mind. What should I do?

 You say that you love your beautiful wife to bits, yet you are increasingly considering finding another sexual partner. I only hope that you have not dropped that threat of infidelity on your wife because if your genuine aim is to restore intimacy, badgering and blackmail are about the worst possible tactics to employ. I suspect that sex has become the focus of your dissatisfaction, but it’s not what this is about at all. Any relationship counsellor will tell you that sexlessness rarely has anything to do with sex. Instead, it is almost always a sign that there are unresolved issues in the relationship.