Sex File: My new partner is overly communicative and it's turning me off, especially in bed

He is not being communicative he is being clingy, and at a certain point "checking in" turns into "checking up on", and that's no fun at all. Picture: iStock

I fancy my new partner a lot. But I find him too attentive, especially in bed. He is very communicative - almost overly so. I get morning and evening "check-ins", daily phone calls, and when we're together he is constantly telling me how beautiful and perfect I am, and putting my pleasure above his own. I hate to say it, but it's turning me off.

On paper your new boyfriend is doing everything right, yet he is getting it all wrong. No one knows the rules of social engagement inside out, yet most of us instinctively understand that if we demand too much of another human they will withdraw from us. The complexity of each and every interaction that we have with each other involves a host of complex yet unspoken understandings, and yet when people get the rules wrong, we automatically know that we don't like it.