Talk To Me: I want to stop my mother's monthly visits 

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

Caroline Martin, psychologist. Photograph Moya Nolan

I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother since childhood. I’m now married with two young children and dread whenever she comes to visit. She has little interest in her grandchildren and even less in me. Yet she nearly always says something cutting — usually a comment on my appearance. I want to stop the monthly visits, but I love my dad dearly and would hate to upset him. What can I do?

The shelves are awash with Mother’s Day cards evoking Disney-like bonds between children and their mammies. It can be confronting as an adult when you recognise that the relationship with your mum is very different to the saccharine wording on the cards at your local shop.