Talk To Me: I'm upset about a text my husband sent to a female colleague 

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

When spouses feel isolated and vulnerable, it’s time to have a conversation. Picture: iStock  

My husband has always enjoyed women’s company and regularly had lunch with a female colleague before the pandemic. It never bothered me until I recently saw a text he sent to her, offering his support after a business deal didn’t work out, adding how much he admired her work ethic. I know there is technically nothing wrong with the text but it’s left me feeling isolated and vulnerable. I don’t want to bring it up with him because it will probably lead to a pointless argument.

We are hardwired for connection, and this is captured beautifully in the movie, Castaway. The lead character, Chuck, played by Tom Hanks in a quest to avoid the pain of being alone on the island bestows the virtues of friend and confidante onto a volleyball he calls Wilson. It could be argued that Chuck would not have survived without this critical friendship.