Sex File: He has the radio on when we're making love 

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My boyfriend hates having sex without the radio on - sometimes pop music, sometimes the news, it doesn't seem to matter as long as there's noise. He says he feels self-conscious making love when it's too quiet. What's difficult for me is that I find it really distracting - I'd rather it was peaceful.

I imagine that your boyfriend's reliance on background noise is that he has, in the past, used it as a way to muffle the sound of sex. Worrying about being overheard when you are having sex is not uncommon and people living in shared spaces routinely turn on the radio or the TV to spare the blushes of parents or flatmates. It is a considerate gesture, but it is also a way of decreasing self-consciousness. Sex is a predominantly private act and feeling surer that no one can hear you makes it much easier to relax. However, when a specific action such as turning on the radio becomes psychologically connected to a desired outcome such as decreasing anxiety it creates a dependency, so if the radio is turned off anxiety increases. This can be particularly difficult for men because stress and anxiety trigger the release of cortisol, which can inhibit sexual response.