Sex File: I'm confused after making love with my ex-husband

Breaking up once is tough. Breaking up twice is foolish.

People choose to have sex with an ex for all sorts of reasons.

I recently had sex with my ex-husband. We divorced a couple of years ago and I definitely don't want to get back together, but it has left me confused because the sex was good. We co-parent amicably and I don't want to rock the boat. Does this sort of thing happen often?

It happens a lot more than anyone is willing to admit. Ten years ago the researcher Ashley Mason at the University of Arizona conducted a study of divorced men and found that nearly a quarter of them had had sex with their ex-spouse in the previous four months. Intuitively this sounds like a bad idea. After all, if you keep going backwards you can't move forwards. However, in 2019 researcher Stephanie Spielmann at Wayne State University examined what happens when couples who split carry on having sex with each other - but don't carry on the relationship part of it.