Sex File: Fitness training is ruining our love life

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My boyfriend is training for a marathon. He’s doing a lot of training — long runs — and, with work and our young children, is completely exhausted. As a result, he just never wants to have sex. I thought exercise was meant to boost sex drive, not the opposite.

Exercise is great for sex. It gets your heart beating faster and increases blood flow. It triggers the release of endorphins, which give you a runner’s high. It boosts your mood and your self-esteem. People who exercise generally have a more positive body image, so they tend to feel more confident with their clothes off. Being fitter means you have more sexual stamina, which has obvious benefits in the bedroom. In men, being fit decreases the likelihood of erectile difficulties; in women, it is associated with increased sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction.  When the psychologist Cindy Meston was studying the impact of exercise on female sexual arousal, she found that immediately after a workout, blood flow restores the working muscles; 15 to 30 minutes after a workout, blood volume in the genitals increases, which creates an optimum window for sex.