Sex File: Our love life has suffered since we started sleeping separately 

There is a lot of stigma around sleeping separately, but whatever works for you both is the right thing to do
Sex File: Our love life has suffered since we started sleeping separately 

Picture: iStock 

My husband and I have stopped sleeping in the same bedroom. He snores, I move a lot, and we had both had enough. The problem is our love life has suffered. How do we protect our sex life and also our sleep?

Sleeping in the same bed, and the physical closeness that it brings, is an important part of your bond as a couple. It also increases the opportunities for spontaneous sex. Sleeping together helps couples to maintain their sexual connection - so yes, it's important. But so is getting a good night's sleep, and a lot of us are really struggling to do that. In a 2017 report, the UK-based Sleep Council found that more than 35% of people had been suffering from sleep problems for more than five years. One in four participants blamed their sleep problems on partner disturbance. Lots of people think that sleeping in separate bedrooms is something that only older couples do, but that's really not the case. The same report found that 24% of couples sleep separately some of the time, and 12% do so all the time. For many people, like you, sleeping separately is a purely practical arrangement. It doesn't mean they don't like each other, or that the marriage is in trouble. It simply means that they can't get a good night's sleep in the same bed.

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