World Kindness Day: Joanna Fortune on how to teach your child to be kind

Small actions can make a big difference in the lives of others 

Picture: iStock 

Saturday is World Kindness Day, a global day first launched in 1998 that promotes the importance of being kind to yourself, to each other and to the world. The purpose is to promote the understanding that compassion for others is what binds us all together.

This special day is a good prompt for parents to think about how to help children realise that their kind little actions can make a big difference – and that these actions have the power to change lives. So how can we promote kindness in kids?

Joanna Fortune, psychotherapist and author of the 15-Minute Parenting series of books, says large chunks of childhood are ego-centric in development – a child is predisposed to thinking of themselves: what they want and need and how they think and feel.

She emphasises the importance of including kindness in parenting strategies to instil the importance of such acts and thoughts from the earliest age. “Children learn to behave kindly by being treated and responded to with kindness by the caregiving adults around them.” 

Fortune says it is vital we teach children they are interesting and that we are interested in them – and we can do that by being present to them. “We can ensure that we catch their eye and engage in warm sustained eye contact, that we smile at them, that we ensure ‘our toes follow our nose’ when our children speak to us, meaning we orient ourselves to turn our face towards them when they speak – rather than a half glance over a shoulder or answering while looking into our screen devices.” 

Teaching kids they are interesting and that we are interested in them strengthens self-esteem, says Fortune. “And people who feel good about themselves tend to find the good in others and behave kindly towards others.” 

Leading by positive example is always the most effective way for teaching children to be kind to themselves – and others. “We should ensure our children see us being kind to ourselves and others, that we praise kindness in them and that we reinforce a positive view of themselves, others and the world around them. It’s important to focus on effort over outcome and practice acts of kindness each day.”

Fortune encourages adopting a family practice of kindness by ensuring small acts of kindness daily that you talk about, and working as a family towards bigger acts of kindness – a fundraiser, donating toys/clothes/groceries, baking cookies for an elderly person home. 

“Being kind means practising acts of kindness regularly.” 

Visit the School of Kindness

Science of kindness:

• Kindness doesn’t just help others – it also improves our own physical and mental health.
• University of California-Berkeley study found over 55-year-olds who volunteered for two/more organisations were 44% less likely to die over a five-year period than non-volunteers.
• US-based National Institutes of Health found the same area in the brain, activated in response to food/sex, is also activated when study participants think about donating to charity.
• An Emory University study found the thought of helping others activated the same part of the brain as thinking about receiving rewards/experiencing pleasure.