Learner Dad: Why do some people sign up for everything? Good things happen in free time

Picture: iStock 

Here’s a suggestion if you reckon your kids are overloaded with after-school activities. Move house.

It’s certainly working for us. Now, you have to move a good half an hour’s drive away from where you live, or else you’ll just end up in your old after-school places, but with a longer drive. We’re about 40 minutes from our old place so there is no chance of a trek back to Cork city for a spot of gymnastics. Or Gaelic football, soccer, drama, swimming, ukulele lessons, hip-hop dancing and I’ve probably forgotten one or two others because my wife did most of the ferrying.

Our after-school activity in the new place is swimming on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s  in Youghal, a 40-minute drive. M y wife is on duty, but she says that everyone concerned likes the downtime that comes from a drive around east Cork. There are no other activities. And here’s the thing – I don’t know how we could fit another one in.

My wife and I are either working or looking after the kids. They get home in the much-love d school bus just after 3pm . There’s cooking and cleaning and washing and homework and eating and washing-up between then and bedtime. I have yet to spot a spare slot where we could whisk them off for 40 minutes of Irish dancing .

But we’ll probably have to find one soon enough. The golden rule of parenting is that you can slot three different activities into a four-hour slot if you try hard enough. And if you don’t try hard enough, you’re not doing right by your child, you terrible parent.

Our kids aren’t pushing us to start filling up their spare time. Maybe they like the head-space that comes from a chill-out with their toys when they get in the door, rather than bundling them into the car so we can tell other parents that we managed to get the last slot in hip-hop trampolining.

Maybe the kids have started to spot the pattern where they take up something and give it up three months later, never to be mentioned again. Seriously, if you’re looking for a soccer or GAA jersey for a variety of clubs in Cork city, aged four to six, then I can probably sort you out. Socks too, hardly ever worn.

I get sad when I see the assortment of old jerseys that we still have lying around. Not so much from the financial point of view, more the heartbreak angle, where they started a sport with a new team and it was all great at the start and then the thrill just fizzled out, like a sad love affair.

I know we have a few more jerseys in our future. The local GAA club is a big deal where we live now and I wouldn’t want to miss out on the gossip when we bring the kids to training. (Strangers will tell you the most amazing things when their kids are playing ball with your kids.)

I know my kids will want to play everything their friends play. I know they’ll want all the gear that goes with it because kids love getting stuff. (Who doesn’t? I’m very excited because I have t-shirts arriving in the post today.)

I know my son will love the competition and my daughter will love finding some other kid to talk to as the action goes on around them.

I’m looking forward to it, even if it’s bound to inject a bit more stress into our lives. I just hope we manage to keep a bit of time for ourselves.

I don’t know how (or even why) some people sign up for everything. I think it’s an American thing, where you have to find what your kid is a good at, and with any luck they’ll end up going to the Olympics.

Moving house has cleared the slate and reminded us that good things happen in free time. I’ll let you know if we’ve managed to keep some back for ourselves. Or if the guilt became too much and we signed them up for everything in sight.