Richard Hogan: What to do when your boss is a bully

"Never take abuse in silence. We are in an age where we no longer accept terrible behaviour by those in power. When you stand up to someone you are showing them that you respect yourself."

When bosses bully: Our work is designed to supplement the private life we live with our family and friends. But, when we are targeted by an employer the impact of that experience can be pervasive as it can spread out into all areas of our life.

Over the last number of weeks, I have been writing about the experience of bullying. I talked about how parents can support their child who is being targeted by others, I explored what to do if your child is the bully and also how to deal with bullies in work. I have been inundated with emails from people who have been bullied. I have been particularly struck by the number of emails I received from people who have had such a negative experience in work. 

It seems that, despite such moves to draft policies in work to prevent bullying, it is still a huge issue for many people. As I said last week, everyone has the right to work in an environment free form harassment and bullying. You are not powerless and the bully is not powerful. It is actually quite the opposite. A bully is an insecure person that needs to make others feel small so that they can have any feeling of adequacy. Generally, a bully sees something in another person that reflects their own insecurities and so they target that person. So, it’s about them, not you. Once you realise this it can shift how you think about your colleague or boss. Many emails I received last week asked me to give further advice about managing being bullied by a boss.