Richard Hogan: Is your child unsure about third level? Here's how to help

Now that the CAO first-round offers have come out and students are beginning to learn their options, parents must help them to think in a broader way about their future

If a student is unsure about their course, remember they do not have to stick to any one thing. 

Often, in choosing a university, students want to go where their friends are going.

It is understandable that they want to be with friends, but that should not be a deciding factor, because new friends await in whatever lecture hall or workplace they select.

Helping them to see that is significant this week, especially if your child is struggling with not getting a place in their university of choice.

We’ve heard a lot this week about the incredible results some students achieved and that is wonderful to celebrate, but we rarely hear about the students who are disappointed and demoralised because they have not been offered a place on the course they want.

Motivating your child to see the myriad options is important, but so is listening to their disappointment. That will help them to gain clarity. Parents can feel a little out of their depth when supporting their children to choose the right course for their characteristics and interests.

Talent emerges when our interest in something develops, so that we put effort and consistency into excelling at it. Students can also feel they have no talent and, as a result, have no real interest in any course on offer in college.

This can cause parents a great deal of concern, as they watch a seemingly apathetic child languidly moving off into this phase of their life.

Again, remember, there is nothing more restricting than the limited expectations we place on our children. And coming out of formal education, your child has likely been incredibly labelled by that system.

If they are unsure about their course, they can change it at any point. Having something to aim for is far more advantageous than not, so helping your child to see that is important.

A helpful resource for parents and students is Gradguide. It provides students with insights into what courses they should be thinking about and where they will be able to apply the skills they develop when they graduate. Students don’t fully consider what they will do with their degree. They launch into a course and have no real target.

On graduating, they may feel lost or they feel that those four years have been a waste.

I meet this quite often in my clinic: Young adults, fresh out of a degree, and no idea what career they want to do. I point out that this is an exciting time, that possibilities are endless, and that their degree hasn’t been a waste of time, even if it only made clear to them what they don’t want to do. Which is important.

Not knowing what to do as a career should not paralyse us with fear, but rather motivate us towards finding the thing we will eventually excel at.

Guidance

Students can feel abnormal if they haven’t figured out yet what they want to do. This is just an error in their thinking and perhaps in our education system. Being unsure about what the future holds can cause incredible distress, especially when they see all their friends heading off to courses they want to do.

But helping your child to see that their interests in a particular area will emerge during their time in college will ensure they move from a myopic view of their life. 

Just because they don’t exactly know at this point doesn’t mean they won’t excel in the future.

There is another cohort of students we need to think about this week: Those who have been waiting to see, since last year, whether or not they will attain a place in university this year.

We don’t hear much about their plight, but the pandemic has been particularly hard on those families. Many students missed out last year because their education was so severely disrupted and they are waiting to see what will be offered to them this year.

Now that the CAO points seem to be inflated, what does that mean for them and their families? It is important that their story is reflected in the media. Again, it is about helping them to see what their best options are, that there are so many roads to one destination. 

Spending time exploring their possibilities will help them to fully view their options. These last few years have been incredibly challenging.

Thankfully, we are coming out of this difficult period. Our children will find their own way, but they do need guidance in this last phase.