Learner Dad: Helping our children adjust to a new school

'It was hard to take them away from their old school. They loved the place - and now we’re lifting them out of it to start afresh in a small village in east Cork'

Picture: iStock

We were anxious, waiting for our two to come out after their first day at the new school. It brought me back to their early days at their old school when you’d be watching them walking out the gate with the teacher, looking for signs of sadness in their body language.

There was no need to worry. They both flourished at their old school in Ballyphehane and bounced out the door most days, with a buddy or two in tow. ( The only problem was sending our dreamer daughter back into the classroom because she came out without her coat. It actually got endearing, after a while.)

It was hard to take them away from this old school. They loved the place. It was their place, not ours, where they could start to build their own identities, pick their own friends and live their own dramas. And now we’ re lifting them out of it to start afresh in a small village in east Cork.

It’s not like we don’t know anyone in the village. My wife’s very close friend lives there, her two kids are great buddies with our two, and they would all be in the same school together. Better still, the two of them are  in my son’s new class, and I wouldn’t worry about my daughter, she’d make friends in solitary confinement.

But they were still anxious about the move. One of the best things about kids their ages (seven and nine) is how good they are at expressing their emotions. There is no fudging or suggesting – they just come straight out and say how they feel. My daughter and I have a thing where we walk into Cork city on a Saturday morning for some one-on-one time. (I reckon we’ll have to replace that with a drive into Midleton market.)

‘Our two bounced down the path from their new school at the end of the first day.’

The chat during the walk into town was one of my favourite parts of the week. No disruptions, no work calls, no screens just me and her for 90 minutes, holding hands and shooting the breeze. Recently, she had taken to telling me she was sad about leaving her friends and asking me how I got on when I changed school at the age of 11, leaving my friends in Kinsale to start at a new place in Cork city. 

I lied a bit because I can remember being lonely at the start before I found a gang that would have me. She'd squeeze my hand, to make me feel better. Daughters are brilliant that way.

Anyway, we needn’t have worried. Our two bounced down the path from their new school at the end of the first day. We headed to the playground, where I watched both playing with other kids as if they were part of some kind of study – all I was short of was a clipboard.

In short , day one went better than we could have expected. Days two to six went to plan as well. Thanks to the teachers and principal in the new school, they played a stormer in bringing our two in without making a fuss.

I think I’m the sad one. I loved the little harbour they’d made for themselves in the old school, it made me feel secure as well. One of my son’s buddies there became an internet sensation last week when a video of him watching a WWE wrestling match went viral. I watched my son watching him on the video, to gauge how he felt. He was delighted to see his old pal had made it to the big time – there was no sadness as far as I could see.

Kids aren’t very sentimental, I guess. They either live in the now or wonder about the future. It’s not like they have forgotten their old school and the friends they met there. They come up in conversation all the time. But I can feel them slowly making space for chats about their new friends and teachers.

As I said, I’m a bit sad about that. But relieved as well that my kids have managed the move so well. To be honest, I’m a bit in awe of them.