Sex File: The foreplay goes on for too long - how can I tell him? 

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Q. My husband is being more attentive, which is wonderful, but when it comes to sex, this seems to mean endless foreplay. If I'm not busy, that's fine. But how can I tell him I haven't always got time?

A. Trying to have sex when you feel stressed is self-defeating. If you are open to the idea of sex, your brain transmits the signals that start the cascade of reactions that lead to arousal, but your brain is equally capable of preventing that cascade. Female sexual arousal is heavily influenced by moods and emotions, and if you feel anxious, distracted, exhausted, unloved or angry, you can't override those emotions to have sex.