Colm O'Regan: 'I misinterpreted a fistbump as a handshake and covered the fist with my hand'

Whatever your views on the role of the Catholic Church in the formation of Irish society, one can’t deny it did teach generations how to shake hands

Colm O'Regan: 'When were emotionally repressed as a people it was much easier. You went around cold, wet and hunched over. Now we’re supposed to be Southern Europeans, talking with our hands, kissing on both cheeks, eating meals with no sign of a spud at all.'

I don’t think anyone was to blame. The terms of engagement had not been made clear. But then, they never are.

The occasion was the aftermath of a gig. A woman approached me to say hello. She was a sister of a good friend of mine. It had been a while since I’d seen her and I couldn’t remember one vital detail. Were we ‘shake hands’ or ‘cheek kiss’ people? Don’t pretend you haven’t a similar categorisation.