Suzanne Harrington: Trump has not just God-washed himself, but monetised the situation to the hilt

God wash them all, these spiritual giants, these champions of humanity and elevators of women. God wash them all to heaven

"Trump, never slow to spot a self-enrichment opportunity in a country where 81% of its citizens believe in a literal, predominantly Christian god, has done some top notch god-washing. God-scrubbing. God-bleaching." Picture: godblesstheusabible.com.

You’ll have read how Ireland’s premier feminist icon had an interesting experience recently in Tijuana, the safest, prettiest city in Mexico.

The MMA fighter had a psychedelic experience there, and saw ‘god’. Specifically, Jesus.

This is not the story... psychedelic plants have been providing humans with profound mystical experiences since we first crawled from the primordial soup.

From the humble magic mushroom growing on your doorstep to the Salvia Divinorum, the clue is in the name. Of course he saw ‘god’. All that means is that the psychedelic plants were doing their job.

No, what’s funny about Conor McGregor’s psychedelic experience is how he saw ‘god’. Heaven, he said, has “white marble steps”. Of course it does. It probably has gold taps too. Down these “white marble steps” came Jesus himself “and anointed me with a crown”. If you double-check the dictionary, ‘anoint’ means ‘choose a successor’.

Really, Jesus? You sure about that?

Hey guys, I am back. ❤️

I was blessed to meet the most forward thinking doctors from Stanford University and undergo a series of treatments to address trauma.

I travelled to Tijuana Mexico and underwent Ibogaine treatment at AMBIO.

Watch the @netflix documentary just…

— Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) November 23, 2025

McGregor then tweeted God to thank him, signing off as “god’s great grandson”.

How fashionable God-washing has become, particularly for men accused of serious sex crimes. In 2024, Russell Brand — who has denied multiple serious offences — climbed into the River Thames to be baptised.

And Sean Combs, also accused of multiple serious sex crimes, attended court brandishing a bible. On this occasion, however, the god-washing didn’t work. He’s in jail now.

Unlike Combs, God-washing has proved a brilliant tactic for the chief bible salesman in the White House.

Despite not knowing his Ecclesiastes (“whoever loves money will never have enough”) from his Timothy (“the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil”) and having enough sexual misconduct allegations under his belt to warrant multiple biblical stonings, Trump has not just God-washed himself, but monetised the situation to the hilt.

It has not been hard to do this in a country described by its own House Speaker, Mike Johnson, not as a democracy but as a “biblically sanctioned” republic. Yikes.

Josh Hawley, Missouri Senator and author of Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs, has confirmed that “Without the bible, there is no America,” adding how “God…chose…. to call us to do his work with him.”

Again, yikes.

Meanwhile, Florida governor Ron DeSantis called for Americans to “put on the full armour of God” to tackle anyone who isn’t a Christian nationalist. Triple yikes.

Trump, never slow to spot a self-enrichment opportunity in a country where 81% of its citizens believe in a literal, predominantly Christian god, has done some top notch god-washing. God-scrubbing. God-bleaching.

Remember how in his 2016 presidential campaign he referred to the communion wafer as “a little cracker”, placed cash on a communion plate, and was unable to name a single bible verse? 

Now he flogs Trump bibles, priced from $59.99 to $1,000.00. (See also Trump vodka, Trump steaks, Trump casinos, and the online Trump merch store where you can “infuse the elegance of Trump in your next event” by buying Trump sippy cups, Trump tea towels, Trump beer buckets, Trump ice cream scoops).

“I’m proud to endorse and encourage you to get this Bible,” he said of his own version of the global bestseller. “We must make America pray again.” (Did he mean prey?) He called the bible “my favourite book”.

Of course it is — just as Russell Brand is a committed Christian and Conor McGregor a committed feminist.

God wash them all, these spiritual giants, these champions of humanity and elevators of women. God wash them all to high heaven.