Edel Coffey: Is TubeGirl just realising life's truths earlier than us Geriatric Millennials?
Picture: Bríd O'Donovan
There is a saying that goes, ‘your right to swing your arms ends just where another’s nose begins’. It’s a phrase I often have in mind, for example, when someone stands too close to me in a public space, to when my kids are bickering about who’s invading their side of the couch. But it came to mind for another reason last week.
If you haven’t heard of TubeGirl, she is Sabrina Bahsoon, a law student at Durham University who has gone viral on TikTok for recording videos of herself dancing on the London tube.
The popularity of the videos has changed her life and she is reported to have scored a modelling contract, a manager and collaborations with big brands as a result.
She has even triggered a copycat trend of people filming themselves dancing on public transport, with everyone from Jedward to presenters from Ireland AM having a go on air.
But what about the hapless commuters, people cried, the innocent journeymen who get caught up in the background of TubeGirl’s videos and have to endure her writhing and hair-flicking?
I found myself shrugging and thinking of the arm-swinging quote. As long as TubeGirl watches where she’s flicking her hair and nobody loses an eye, what harm, I thought.
Her fans love her, holding her up as a bastion of positivity and confidence. Imagine having the confidence to do this on a train, they say. Where does she find the confidence?
It’s not all positive though and it’s interesting to see how divisive she has been. She is classically beautiful and very thin, with long flowing hair.
She certainly fits the very narrow terms of what our society classifies as beautiful.
But while she has legions of fans, some hold her up as an example of everything that is wrong with Gen Z — she’s narcissistic, self-centred, obsessed with how she looks.
Most days I encounter young people filming themselves on the street, talking to their phone with their arm extended high above their head for the best slimming angle and light, oblivious to the (real) world around them and often walking backwards too, meaning other pedestrians have to veer out of their path to avoid bumping into them. It’s just a normal part of living a life on social media.
I’m not saying it’s good, but I am saying it’s very ordinary for them. It might look ridiculous to me, but I’m not a Gen Z-er, I am a Geriatric Millennial. We are different beasts.
But as I thought more about TubeGirl, I wondered if maybe she didn’t have more in common with us Geriatric Millennials than first meets the eye.
A common statement from women over 40 is that they wouldn’t go back to their 20s for all the money in the world and it is often to do with a new-found self-acceptance.
Once you hit a certain age in life, there are benefits to be gained like losing your inhibitions about certain pointless things, not worrying so much about how you look as the ravages of age start to chip away at the physical edifice, and accepting your basic humanity.
I’m not even sure if it’s about gaining confidence so much as it’s about shedding anxieties about yourself and worries about what other people might think of you.
Is it important if a few strangers on a train think you’re silly for filming yourself? I would argue no. Is it important that you don’t limit what you want to do because of what other people might think? Absolutely yes.
I was reminded of Marian Keyes’s recent advice after she turned 60. She told
“We should all be who we are... For so much of my life, I pretended to like things that I didn’t like and buried the things that I loved because I thought they were stupid, or foolish or childish, or uncool. And that is a terrible thing for anyone to do to themselves — to deny your own truth. I told myself that the endorsement or the approval of others was more important than what I wanted. As I’ve got older, I’ve indulged my mad whims and I’ve done it in a way that has suited me. When I started painting some people were like ‘Will we start with watercolours and lovely little canvases?’ And I thought: No. I want ginormous canvases and I want to paint in oil. And that was what I did. I didn’t let somebody tell me what I couldn’t do and I enjoyed myself so much. It is far healthier to just be yourself and like what you like.”
And that’s bona fide Gen X advice.
So I came to the conclusion that TubeGirl’s popularity has got more to do with bravery than confidence.
The bravery to do what you want to do. The bravery to accept yourself and not worry too much about what others will think.
And the bravery to follow your path to all the wonderful places it might potentially lead.
Maybe TubeGirl and her GenZ followers have just arrived at that place of don’t-give-a-shit quicker than most of us do.
Maybe we should all take a leaf out of her book. Just watch where you’re flicking your hair.
