Suzanne Harrington: Luis Rubiales' mother's hunger strike would make a great mini-series

"Where is her son? Unlawfully detained in prison? Rotting in a dank cell somewhere? Captured by bandits? Erm, no. He’s the boss of Spanish football."

The president of the Spanish soccer federation Luis Rubiales speaks during an emergency general assembly meeting in Las Rozas, Friday Aug. 25, 2023.

Netflix, are you looking for your next mini-series? Because here’s one based on a true story. 

Opening scene: 72-year-old woman, Angeles Bejar, locks herself inside a church in Motril, halfway between Malaga and Almeria in Andalucia, declaring she is prepared to die on hunger strike because of the inhumane treatment of her son. 

She sips an energy drink, accompanied by her sister-in-law Mari-Carmen. Mari-Carmen is not on hunger strike, but is avoiding all bocadillos de queso in solidarity.

Where is her son? Unlawfully detained in prison? Rotting in a dank cell somewhere? Captured by bandits? Imprisoned by dastardly overlords in some tin-pot dictatorship, demanding vast ransom for his return?

Erm, no. He’s the boss of Spanish football.

In the next scene, Luis Rubiales begs his mother to stop her hunger strike, to leave the church. “Please Ma,” he pleads in desperation, “go home. Have a sandwich. You’re only making things worse.”

But Angeles remains resolute. Cracking open another energy drink, she tells reporters clamouring outside the whitewashed church: “If she tells the truth everything will be fixed.”

If who tells the truth? What scheming vixen has driven Angeles to starve herself inside the walls of La Pastora Divina? Who is trying to destroy her son?

Cue flashback. In the most widely viewed act of sexual harassment in the history of the world, a woman is grabbed by a man in front of a global audience of two billion, and kissed on the mouth. 

She neither requested nor consented to such a kiss, and is not happy about it. The man is … Angeles’ son Luis. The boss of Spanish football.

Suzanne Harrington. Picture: Denis Scannell

And here Netflix, you could film two possible endings. Ending A sees Luis Rubiales apologise profusely within seconds of footballer Jenni Hermoso’s obvious revulsion as his lips loomed towards hers. 

“Sorry,” he could shout. “I am so sorry, that was a really stupid sexist insensitive embarrassing thing to do. I apologise unreservedly. I am furious with myself for overshadowing your team’s historic World Cup victory with my act of sexist entitlement and am off to do an intensive course on how not to be a prick. Please accept my humblest apologies.”

Or there’s Ending B: Rubiales repeatedly insists the kiss was consensual, refuses to budge, leading Hermoso to state how she “was not respected”, and calls the Spanish football federation “manipulative, hostile, controlling”. Fifa gets involved, because if they didn’t it would look even worse, suspending Rubiales for 90 days.

Rubiales digs in, prompting the UNHRC to issue a statement: “Women in sport continue to face sexual harassment and abuse — every one of us has the responsibility to call out and challenge such abuse. We join Spain’s Jenni Hermoso and all those working to end abuse and sexism in sport. Make this a turning point.”

Meanwhile in Motril, Angeles is on her fifth energy drink since yesterday morning, as Mari-Carmen looks on anxiously. Which will happen first — Angeles dies of hunger or her son resigns? Come on Netflix. 

Maybe Johnny Depp’s free to play the male lead?