Edel Coffey: One thing all successful people have in common is failure
Katie Taylor after her undisputed super lightweight championship fight with Chantelle Cameron at the 3Arena in Dublin. Photo by Stephen McCarthy/Sportsfile
Like most of the country, I think, I was deeply invested in Katie Taylor’s homecoming boxing match at the 3Arena in Dublin last week.
And, like most of the country, I was deeply disappointed for her that she didn’t win. It was the first defeat in her professional career and probably deeply affecting not only for that reason, but also because of the emotional resonance of it being a homecoming match on her home turf.
After the result was announced, I was aware of a little voice inside of me saying, ‘well, that’s it now, it’s all over’. I had almost accepted that statement before the part of my brain that knows better intervened and said, hang on just a second now … there is so much to be learned from losing, including the chance to try again.
For someone who has spent her professional life winning, Katie Taylor understands a lot about losing.
In her contract, Taylor had included a right to a rematch should she lose, because she knew losing was an option. And losing doesn’t mean giving up, losing means trying again. Taylor knows this and was already talking about the rematch after the result on Saturday night.
Losing is part of playing. It’s the bet we take with anything in life, not just sports. Often we have to go through loss to get to winning; through failure to get to success.
It’s certainly an unavoidable part of getting better at something. Because losing is how we learn. It’s why we put so much stock in children playing team sports.
Because we know losing teaches us to learn from our mistakes. It teaches us resilience when we lose, to pick ourselves back up and try again. And again. And again. And if we lose again, and again, and again... we learn coping strategies.
There’s a saying that goes ‘you can win or you can learn’ — and I’m a big believer in that. If everything goes our way, what do we learn?
Sometimes losing or failing is the thing that opens the door to success, the thing that shows us where we have been going wrong, shows us our weaknesses and how to defend them in future.
Sometimes it’s the thing that gives the determination and the motivation to the best in the world, to become even better than their unbelievable best. Anyone who has watched the Usain Bolt documentary will know what I’m talking about.
Nobody likes losing, whether it’s getting passed over for a promotion in work or getting dumped by a lover. No matter how gracious you are, losing always feels bad.
I was never really invested in team sports as a kid, mainly because I wasn’t that good at them, but get me on a Scrabble board or Wordle or a tennis court and I’m ashamed to say I’ll do everything in my power to ungraciously beat you. Luckily, I lose way more than I win.
Losing is universal. It’s one of the things that has made Elizabeth Day’s podcast such a massive global hit. Everyone can relate to it.
It shows us that no matter how big, how successful, how glittering a person’s trajectory is, there is always failure sewn in, there is always losing, there is always learning, there is always trying again. In fact, one thing all successful people seem to have in common is failure.
Sometimes losing is the thing that ultimately makes you a winner. Take David Nichols for example, the author of the bestselling novel .
He originally wanted to be an actor but wasn’t good enough. Because he was failing at acting, he redirected his energies to writing and the rest is history. The fact is, he may never have found his success in writing, had he not first failed at acting.
Failure is inevitable, loss is unavoidable, these are things we all go through at varying levels on a daily basis. And it’s good to remember that the part of losing that really hurts is the useless part, the one that’s about validation, ego, status, pride.
If you want to live, if you want to succeed, if you want to win, you’re going to have to get comfortable with losing and failure. And if you’re going to try to achieve anything, the risk of losing is always part of the deal. But wouldn’t you rather take that risk, than not take a shot at all?
What I’ve learned from my own experiences with winning and losing, with succeeding and failing, is that I’ve lost and failed way more than I’ve won and succeeded.
But I’ve also learned that sometimes it is only from a position of loss that we become motivated enough to win. And sometimes it’s only when the uncomfortable spotlight of success is taken off us that we get to acknowledge what we really want to.
Often it is the cool shade of no pressure, no expectations, that creates the perfect environment for success.
It’s good to remember that winners lose. A lot. The key is to keep going. Learn from the losses. And always take the rematch.
